Review: Right Proper Brewing Company's Pork Rind Nachos

August 5, 2015 Dex Gormenghast

Prok Rinds, Pulled Pork, Roasted Tomato Sour Cream, Jalapeños, Scallions, Cheese Sauce

We get it restaurants, in order to appear cool to the hipsterati you need to have a bunch of strange and out of the ordinary dishes to wow and amaze. And if you’re a said restaurant claiming to have southern influences as well you’ll also need to throw in something like pork rinds, because, thanks hipsters, why not. Of course the why not is because they’re gross and have a weird consistency that ranges from teeth shatteringly hard to soggy old skin when they get wet. Oh, and I especially wouldn’t get an order of nachos featuring them in the place of chips. That being said, I totally did and now want to save you from that horror.

Review: Taco Bell Grilled Stuft Nacho

June 25, 2015 Dex Gormenghast

Beef or Chicken, Warm Nacho Cheese Sauce, Zesty Nacho Sauce, Crunchy Red Strips, Cool Reduced-Fat Sour Cream.

Ho boy. As June is apparently nachos-wrapped-in-other-stuff month, we’ve got to climb further down the ladder from Moe’s Sriracha Nacho Stacks to these goddamn things. But the tragic thing about them is that they’re much closer to nachos than a better quality versions of them from a much better restaurant. Taco Bell, you’re like that dung beetle that burrows into the dirt to get past all the other much better dung beetles to bang the lady beetle, namely sneaky, crunchy, and synonymous with poop.

Video: Nicole Brown Simpson's Nachos

May 25, 2015 Dex Gormenghast

I don't know if "socialite" is the word you'd use to describe Kris Jenner, but if so then Socialite Kris Jenner has recently written a cookbook, and in it you can learn the secret of friend/murder victim Nicole Brown Simpson's nachos. Now, I'm not going to say that putting in the recipes of a famous murder victim is in bad taste, but I'm also not going to say that Nicole Brown Simpson faked her death and changed her name to Megyn Kelly and is now an anchor on FOX news, because they look similar. I will leave all such borderline slanderous comments to celebrity chef Hugh Acheson as he recreates the recipe for NBS's famous chicken nachos, found in Kris Jenner's new cookbook. Let him explain how they are.

Review: JOSÉ OLÉ Nacho Bites

January 25, 2015 Dex Gormenghast

Spoiler Alert: These are about as much nachos as that kitten is, and that kitten is no nachos.

Sometimes you’re home alone. Sometimes you just want something hot and easy to cook. Sometimes you just want something cheesy and greasy. Sometimes you don’t, but when you do and want something nacho related while wandering around the frozen food section you may come across a consumable called “Nacho Bites”.

Review: Taco Bell XXL Nachos

January 15, 2015 Dex Gormenghast

"Tortilla chips prepared fresh daily piled high with hearty beans, a three-cheese blend, warm nacho cheese sauce, guacamole, pico de gallo, reduced-fat sour cream, and steak, steak and more steak."

Let’s get this out of the way right up front: shortly after consuming this order of XXL Nachos at Taco Bell I had a spurting case of diarrhea. Ha ha ha, we get it, Taco Bell is low hanging fruit, but that poop was a fact.